


A Heart Big Enough

by nekobazu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Fluff, I will sink with this ship, M/M, Multi, OT3, Poly, Polyamory, cuteness, kagehinayachi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-19 01:16:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2369012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekobazu/pseuds/nekobazu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“It’s the nicest sucky thing ever, you know? Like, it’s like <strong>fwaaaah</strong> but like <strong>guuuuh</strong> at the same time.”</em>
</p><p>When Hinata receives two confessions, he’s determined to find a way to make it work so that no-one gets hurt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Heart Big Enough

**Author's Note:**

> This is an entirely self-indulgent bit of KageHinaYachi fic, and I won't apologise for it. This ship gives me strength.

Kageyama scowled down at the clock on his phone, flipping the device open to check whether the dumbass had sent him a message before snapping it shut again and irritably stuffing it into his pocket.

What was the point in Hinata telling him to meet him by his bike after school if he wasn't even going to show up? He'd already been waiting here ten minutes; how much longer was he expected to stand around? It was chilly that evening, and he had better things to be doing than hanging round hoping that the red-headed idiot would actually put in an appearance sometime soon.

Deep down, Kageyama knew that was a lie. His evening plans literally consisted of going home, doing his homework and then fitting in more volleyball training – maybe laying on his bed and practicing tossing, or fitting some weight training in. His mood towards Hinata wasn't the greatest right now, though, and being able to inwardly unleash anger at the boy (however flimsy the reason) was therapeutic.

* * *

_Taking a deep breath, Kageyama tried to calm the weird churning feeling in his stomach. He'd spent enough sleepless nights, enough distracted days, worrying about this, and it was now or never._

_He was going to confess to Hinata._

_After his performances in training had begun to slip, Sugawara had pulled him aside and enquired as to what was wrong. Kageyama had initially refuted the very idea that he was struggling with something – had insisted that he was simply in a rut with his form – but Sugawara's gentle but insistent questioning had finally drawn it out of him. God alone knew how or why it had happened, but he had a crush on a certain idiotic redhead; his greatest tactical asset on the court, and his best friend. Sugawara's probing had only confirmed this; by the sound of things, the older boy had surmised, these weren't just confused feelings of friendship, but a genuine romantic interest._

_It hadn't really surprised Kageyama that Sugawara had treated the 'gay' aspect of it as a total non-issue – he was completely supportive, in fact, and that alone had lifted a massive weight from Kageyama's shoulders, knowing he had at least one ally no matter what else came of it. After a few moments' comfortable silence, though, the next question had caught Kageyama off guard._

“ _Are you planning on confessing?”_

_Until then, the thought hadn't crossed Kageyama's mind. It was his best friend, a team mate and another guy – confessing had seemed completely out of the picture until then, for any number of reasons and complications. The way Sugawara had posed the question, though, it almost seemed like..._

_...like it could be an option worth pursuing?_

“ _I... hadn't thought about it...” Kageyama admitted._

“ _You should,” Sugawara stated with a smile. “Think about it, that is. Keeping quiet obviously isn't working for you, is it?”_

“ _...but what if it goes badly?”_

“ _That's always a risk,” the vice-captain conceded. “But that goes for every confession. Hinata doesn't seem like the type who would reject you as a friend though – regardless of whether he returns your feelings, his heart's big enough to hold love for everyone. It might be a little weird at first, but he wouldn't turn you away completely.”_

_ The silver-haired boy placed an encouraging hand on the younger setter's shoulder. “I can't advise you whether or not you should tell him –  that's your decision alone. I think, though, you should ask yourself an honest question.” _

_Sugawara stood up, and faced his kouhai with a sincere expression. “Would the pain of getting rejected, while it lasted, be worse than having 'what if?' hanging over you?”_

_After that, Sugawara had dropped the topic completely, though during training the next day, Kageyama had felt concerned eyes on him._

_Having given Sugawara's words serious thought, Kageyama had resolved to confess. If his senpai was right, he had nothing to lose, and at the very least he'd be rid of the gnawing anxiety he felt every time he made eye contact with the object of his affections. And maybe, just maybe, if he dared to hope enough..._

_ The setter took another steadying breath, and waited outside the club room for Hinata to emerge.  He could feel his heart hammering, his palms sweating and his knees threatening to buckle under him if he didn't turn and run away  _ right now _ , but he bore through it. _

_He had made his decision._

_He was going to confess._

_He wasn't going to back down._

_A little later than expected, Hinata finally emerged. Kageyama felt the tension in him turn up another notch, and that urge to back out very nearly overtook him completely. Was every confession this hard? It was no wonder people made such a big deal out of it._

“ _Hinata!” he called, hurrying over to join the boy. “Wait a minute!”_

“ _Huh?”_

_The redhead jerked a little as though snapping out of a reverie, and looked up at Kageyama as he approached, his face a little flushed and eyes a little dazed. “Kageyama? I thought you'd already left.”_

“ _I was waiting for you,” the setter explained, cringing at how corny his words sounded to him even if that was exactly the reason he hadn't left yet. “I... need to talk to you...”_

_The boy immediately seemed to go on guard, regarding his friend defensively. “If it's about that serve, I swear I wasn't aiming for you! It was just a bad serve, and it didn't even hit you that time!”_

“ _No, it's... not that,” Kageyama forced out. Had his tongue always been so dry? His throat felt tight. Ridiculously, he wondered for a moment if he was having an anaphylactic reaction to the stress. “I...”_

_As Hinata frowned a little in confusion, the taller youth suddenly found himself unable to maintain eye contact any longer, glancing aside as he felt heat beginning to warm his cheeks. “I... have something I need to say.”_

_ For once, Hinata remained quiet, and Kageyama inwardly felt himself raging at the universe. Dammit, wasn't this exactly the same as every other confession he'd ever seen or heard about? How could the dumbass not guess what was going on? Did he actually have to  **say it?!** _

_From the extended silence, Kageyama gathered that yes, he did actually have to say it._

“ _I...”_

_Kageyama clenched his fists, grit his teeth, set his shoulders square; anything he could think of to try to make himself feel stronger than he felt right now._

“ _I... like you...”_

_The silence that punctuated this statement felt like it lasted an eternity._

“ _You... like me?”_

“ _...yeah.”_

_ Kageyama braced himself, waiting for Hinata to tell him to stop joking, or to freak out, or to do  _ anything _ to break the  quiet that followed . _

_Instead, the redhead's eyes widened, suddenly focusing properly again, and his face drained of colour. He looked for a moment like he might pass out or be sick, and Kageyama almost reached out to support him instinctively._

“ _Oh no...”_

_Hinata hadn't actually spoken the words out loud – had only mouthed them silently – but the shape of the words was clear enough on his lips, and Kageyama felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. This was it. This was the pain of rejection._

“ _I...”_

_Hinata pressed a palm to his forehead and closed his eyes, as though trying to gather himself. “I... can't answer you right now, Kageyama... can you please give me some time?”_

_The setter frowned in confusion. 'Some time'? Surely the boy knew whether he felt the same way or not?_

“ _I'm not saying no right now... but I can't say yes right now either. I need to think about it. Can you please let me have some time?”_

_ The boy's eyes had been so earnest, and so  _ pained _ as he said that, that Kageyama hadn't been able to do anything but numbly agree.” Sure... just...” _

_Kageyama suddenly felt tired, broken even. “Just don't leave me hanging too long?”_

“ _I'll try not to... thank you...”_

_With that, Hinata turned to leave, and Kageyama stood and watched him go._

* * *

It stood to reason to assume that now, three days later, Hinata had asked Kageyama to wait for him in order to give his answer. During those three days, Kageyama's mood had been nothing short of foul – he couldn't understand why it took so long for him to give what should have been a straightforward answer. Either you liked someone, or you didn't – what more was there to it?

He had been about to check his phone yet again for a message from the dumbass, when the sudden presence of another figure beside him startled him from his internal raging.

“Ah! Kageyama!” Yachi exclaimed, waving her hands frantically before bowing in apology. “I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to surprise you! I was just going to ask if you'd seen Hinata come by here...”

The setter blinked at the girl, before shaking his head in the negative. “I've been waiting here since school let out, and he hasn't come by...”

Yachi's brow creased in confusion at this – it was too gentle a gesture to call a frown – and she pulled her phone out of a pocket to check the time. “He's so late... I wonder if he got held up?”

“Wait... you're meeting him here?”

Yachi glanced up at Kageyama and nodded quickly, before realisation dawned on her face. “You're waiting for him too?”

The taller boy nodded, before fishing his phone out of his pocket to show Yachi the message he'd received from Hinata.

_I want to talk to you. Meet me by my bike after classes?_

Yachi's lips pursed thoughtfully as she read the text. “I got exactly the same...” she murmured, handing the phone back to Kageyama. “I wonder what he wants to talk about, then...?”

By the sound of things, the girl was as confused as Kageyama was – which meant she had been expecting to talk about a particular topic with Hinata too. Before he could ask, though, Kageyama was interrupted by a yell from across the courtyard.

“ _Guuuuuuys!_ I'm sorry I'm late!”

Both Kageyama and Yachi turned at the noise, and neither was surprised to see Hinata sprinting across the gap towards them at top speed. It was a little relieving to see the boy behaving like the ball of energy he usually was – he'd been subdued recently, and Yachi in particular had been concerned about it.

As the redhead skidded to a stop in front of them, he bent over with his hands on his knees, partly bowing in apology and partly catching his breath. “I'm _so_ sorry!” he exclaimed again, panting hard. “One of the teachers kept me behind to chew me out over my homework! You weren't waiting too long, were you?”

“No, not at all! It's fine!”

“I've been waiting ages, dumbass.”

Both answers overlapped each other, and Hinata finally looked up at the both of them with his usual bright grin on his face. “That's just like you two,” he quipped, before standing up straight again.

The setter and the manager both watched Hinata expectantly, and after a moment his smile faltered. “So uh... I guess you're wondering why you're both here, huh?”

As the two nodded, Hinata took a deep breath. “Okay, so... first of all, I wanted to say sorry for taking so long to talk to you both about this. It's just been... _really_ weird the last couple of days, and I needed time to figure out what I wanted to do. And I kind of have, and still kind of haven't, but it's not fair to make you wait any longer.”

The boy rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck, glancing away. “I guess I should start from the beginning... Three days ago, someone confessed to me in the club room after practice, and ran away and told me to think about it before I could give them an answer. And then ten minutes later, someone _else_ confessed to me outside the clubroom. That was the two of you.”

At this revelation, Yachi's jaw dropped, and she stared between Kageyama and Hinata in surprise. The taller boy gawked at his team-mate in disbelief, and in turn the redhead gave the two of them a feeble grin. “I know, right? What're the odds?”

“So... that's why you...?”

“Ah... yeah, I could've reacted better than I did to you, huh?” Hinata admitted weakly, recalling the encounter with Kageyama in more detail. “I was just already flustered, and then suddenly you dropped that on me too, and I just... didn't know what to say?”

A look of thunderous rage came over Kageyama's face, and Hinata held his hands up defensively as Yachi instinctively caught hold of the setter's sleeve to restrain him, accustomed by now to the physicality of the two's relationship. “It made me happy, really! Both of you did! I just didn't expect to get even _one_ confession, never mind two in a row!”

Kageyama faltered at those words. “It... made you happy?”

“Yeah – both of you,” Hinata repeated, and Yachi released Kageyama as he relaxed, the two of them both flushing a little at the admission. “That was kind of the problem...”

The boy sighed again, his expression going serious once more as he looked away, rubbing awkwardly at his face. “See, it's weird, and it's kind of embarrassing, but I like both of you. I know that's not how it's supposed to work, but I do. It's like, I like you both the same, but differently too, and if only _one_ of you had confessed, I'd probably have said yes, but because you both did, it's...”

Hinata fisted his hands in his hair, clutching at it as he groaned in frustration. “It's just _weird,_ okay? No-one tells you how you're supposed to deal with this, and I tried to decide, I really did, but... I like Kageyama, and I like Yachi, and I can't separate you and I don't want to hurt either of you by rejecting you, but I can't just pick one of you either, and I don't want to date both of you and cheat on you both and... it's just _really_ difficult.”

“So that's why you took so long to think about it,” Yachi murmured, nodding in understanding. This was only the first time she'd ever thought about such a possibility, and in truth she didn't know what she would do either. If he really did like them both equally, how hard would it be to choose?

“Yeah,” Hinata agreed. “And really, I still don't know for sure what to do. I mean, you're supposed to meet someone and suddenly it's all about _them_ and they mean the world to you and there's no-one else you'd rather have and all that stuff, but... either of you could be that person for me, I guess. _Both_ of you could. I really feel that way, so I just...”

The boy puffed, this time more in annoyance than defeat. “It's the nicest sucky thing ever, you know? Like, it's like _fwaaaah_ but like _guuuuh_ at the same time. ”

Kageyama and Yachi both nodded at that, though Kageyama looked more confused than anything, while Yachi looked thoughtful. It was enough, at any rate, to convince Hinata that they were all on the same page, and he relaxed a little as he carried on talking.

“I figured all that out on the first night, but everything since then has been trying to work out what to do about it. I tried to convince myself to pick one of you, but I couldn't – I really felt sick at the thought of hurting the other like that. I thought about talking to Suga about it, but then maybe that'd be embarrassing for you two, so I couldn't do that. I did text Kenma – I didn't give him any names, don't worry!” the boy added as his two friends suddenly looked worried. “But he couldn't really help either.”

Hinata began counting off on his fingers as he continued talking, holding two up to indicate the two options he'd already mentioned. “I couldn't really talk to my parents about it, I didn't really feel comfortable going to Coach Ukai or Takeda-sensei, I didn't think anyone else on the team would be able to help, none of my other friends would have been any good...”

The boy trailed off, and for the first time in a while he regarded the two in front of him directly. “So since I'd run out of all other options, I only really had the internet to try!”

Kageyama felt a chill settle over him. Between the big build-up and the way he'd emphasised that he'd had no other options, whatever he'd come up with was going to be _weird._

“So I spent a few nights looking for answers online – that was kind of why I got chewed out over my homework,” the boy admitted sheepishly. “You wouldn't believe some of the stuff I came across while I was searching either,” he added, making a face to show his disgust. “Some people online are real jerks, and some of the other stuff I found was... scary...”

Yachi nodded sympathetically at that statement. She'd heard enough from her classmates to know what horrors the internet held if you took a wrong turn.

“But on the second night, I found a... thing?” Hinata stated sheepishly, gesturing vaguely with his hands. “And... I don't know, it might solve things for us? But it can only work if we all go for it for real.”

“And that's what you wanted to talk to us about?” Kageyama pressed.

“Yeah... it sounds kind of weird at first, but hear me out?”

The two both nodded their assent patiently, relieved that they were finally at the crucial point.

“Okay, so... there's this thing called polyamory. It means 'many loves' or something like that, and it's the idea that, instead of just having _one_ partner, you can have more? Like, it's not just about... about sex...”

The boy flushed a little at this, swallowing before continuing. “It's like... more about how you can have more than one _romantic_ partner? So it's okay to have feelings for more than one person, and to express that and all the rest, but the thing is that you're _honest_ about it. So it's not cheating, because everyone involved has to know and agree to it and be okay with it?”

The boy's voice raised in a questioning tone, as if pleading with the other two to understand what he was saying. They both looked shocked at the suggestion he was getting at, and he felt his heart sink a little as he pressed on. “So last night, I found some forums and I spoke to some people and stuff, and they said that it works for them. They kept emphasising how honesty and communication were important, and one person said it was like how a parent loves their children – if another baby comes along, the parent doesn't love them any more or less than the others, they just have even more love to give out than they did before. It works okay for some people, but other people try it and it doesn't really work for them, but they said that's okay too because it's all about what you're comfortable with. They said that if I really believe I have enough love to give both of you, I should at least suggest it and see what you both think...”

The boy took a deep breath to calm himself, before exhaling. “So... that's my suggestion? I really, honestly do like both of you, and if you're both okay with that then I'd like to give it a try...”

The silence that hung between the three of them felt as thick and heavy as Hinata had ever known, and he was sure the others could hear his heart pounding as he willed either one of them to just say something, _anythin_ _g_ to get the discussion moving on.

In the end, it was Yachi who broke the silence, her voice cautious and hesitant but contemplative. “So... say we did try it... how does it work? Like, for 'sharing' you and stuff?”

Kageyama regarded the quiet girl with surprise, a little shocked that she appeared to be considering it. Her question piqued his curiosity, though.

“I did ask them that,” Hinata admitted, relief evident in his voice.”And basically, we'd have to figure that out ourselves. Like, one person said they have three partners who're all aware of each other but have never met, but then another said they and their two partners – who're also dating each other – all live in the same house, go out on dates together and stuff like that. Someone else said their partners were friends and they all hang out together and sometimes date together, but sometimes they go out as couples instead. So I guess we'd kind of have to test it out a bit and see where our boundaries were and stuff? Like, if we did try it, what we did the first time wouldn't be a commitment to the future or anything... it's kind of negotiable?”

“You're really serious about this, aren't you?”

Hinata's gut reaction was to react defensively, but the unusual softness of Kageyama's voice and the look on his face made him hesitate.

“I mean, you've really, seriously thought about it, haven't you? You normally just rush into things like a dumbass, half-cocked and winging it and dealing with consequences as they come, but you've _really_ thought about it.”

“...yeah,” Hinata murmured, an admission and agreement all at once. As he looked up at his team-mate, his face took on the kind of steady seriousness Kageyama only ever saw during Hinata's most determined moments. “Like I said, I really like both of you, and I don't want to hurt either of you, and this might be the only way I can do that... but I want to make sure we do it right, _if_ we do it. We all need to know what we're going in for, and be prepared to be honest about it and all kinds of complicated stuff... but if it works, I think it could be the happiest way for all of us.”

Kageyama studied Hinata's unwavering eyes, the way his jaw was set solid, the calm rise and fall of his chest, and that provided him the reassurance he needed. Sugawara had been right – the idiot's heart really was big enough to hold love for everyone. And the shorter boy had a positive enough outlook on everything that maybe – _maybe_ – he could somehow will this whole thing to work.

“... we can try it, I guess.”

For a moment, Hinata looked absolutely stunned. His jaw dropped and his eyes opened wide, and for a moment he simply stood there, his mouth flapping but no words coming out.

“I won't promise anything though,” Kageyama insisted. “It's still kind of weird, but... I'll give it a try. But we need time to get used to it,” the setter added. “And if it's too weird or uncomfortable, we're all out of it, okay?”

“...r-right... Right!”

The beaming grin that lit up Hinata's face made Kageyama's heart swell dangerously.  _ That _ was the Hinata he'd fallen for, and in that moment he felt himself fall dangerously deeper. That positivity, that bravery, that unwavering faith... how could he not take a chance, with that supporting him?

As the two boys turned to face Yachi, the look on her face made it clear that she'd come to the same conclusion. “It's a little scary,” she admitted, “And I want to go and read about it too, to understand it better  before we go for it ... but... I think we can give it a try?”

“You guys...”

Hinata's voice was uncharacteristically quiet, and for a moment it sounded like he might cry. That moment was shattered, though, when he let out a loud cheer of delight.  _ “You guys!” _

Kageyama and Yachi both watched in amusement as the redhead bounded excitedly around them, hugging first one and then the other, his eyes shining as he finally pulled them in to hug them both together.

“You guys...” he whispered again, squeezing them so tightly that Yachi was afraid he might crush her. “Thank you so much...”

Sugawara had warned Kageyama that it might be a little weird at first after he confessed. As he pulled the redhead against him, finally able to feel the press of his cheek against his chest, finally able to  bury his fingers in Hinata's red curls and and enjoy the scent of his shampoo, he idly wondered if their vice-captain had any idea it would be like this.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm leaving this incomplete because I'll almost definitely come back and add more to this at a later date. Expect sickening amounts of fluff to follow~


End file.
